We can't live without eatting, and most food tastes really good. I just wish that I had that normal, "OK you are done for a while" voice. For the last two days all I have thought about is the food I shouldn't have. Doughnuts, candy bars, chips, etc, etc. It is enough to drive a person to distraction.
I imagine this is how drug addicts feel about there drug of choice. They love the way it feels when they are getting their fix, but then hate themselves for wanting and NEEDING it so badly. That is how I feel about food. When I'm on the hunt for exactly what I'm craving or in the middle of eatting the delicious food I'm high, but then shortly after (and sometimes during) I hate the fact that I let myself binge. I have to eat to live, but I don't. I LIVE TO EAT!!!!!
Case and point, I've been fighting this thing for two days, then this evening I just gave in. I eat the rest of the Baked Doritoes and the last piece of Angel Food cake. I know, this wasn't a full on binge, but I still just couldn't control it. I just hope some day that I will get past this and be able to have a normal relationship with food! lol!
I haven't walked in two days, but will be back on track tomorrow. My daughter fell and sprained her ankle very badly, so that kind of put a damper on my plans for today. Hope you are up and feeling better soon, Shay!
Plan for tomorrow is: Start over with journaling my food, get a 26 min walk in, and see Andrea (my behavioural therapist). Should be a great day!
God Bless,
Jen
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jenny.. thank you for being here in blog. I too am counting calories and trying to take my weight down. I too have the made craving for ice cream and no no's... Then I try and say ok well Edies is half the fat and calories.. NOT it is still bad for me... I have not had the BAD urge to cheat yet. But I am sure it is out there... I remember the last time I did this, I would have a crave and I just eat and get over it and jump back into the diet...You are lucky you can exercise. Cancer left me with damage and I can't do that. Don't beat yourself up.. You are doing WONDERFUL...
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TaDa
Thanks so much for the encouragement. So, sorry to hear about the cancer. I don't know how you do it and keep your spirit soo high! Thanks so much for the hug!
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