Friday, April 30, 2010

The Beast

This was a very hard day, I had every thought in the book about binging. I fought it hard, because I knew I would have to get on here tonight and write about my day. I didn't want to say that I had given in to the beast. That is what my addiction feels like, A BEAST!!! It consumes my very thought at times. I know that people over eat at times, but the way I overeat isn't normal. When I start to binge it doesn't stop for days or sometimes weeks. I have gained up to 8 pounds in a week before. That is not normal overeatting. It is something that I have to overcome. Food is my drug of choice and when I'm on a binge, getting food feels like a fix. But today, at least, I was able to keep the beast at bay, and I think it had a lot to do with this blog.

I really think blogging is going to help. I'm not saying it is going to be easy, but I am determined to keep myself and this blog honest about what I am eatting and exercising. So, unless I want to get on here and blog that I have overeatten or that I choice not to exercise. I have to get off my butt and do what will make me healthy!

Right now I'm at 26 points for the day, it's not quite bedtime yet, but I am going to stay within my points for the day. I, also, got my walking in. I walked, by myself, for 24 mins this evening. I have to tell you that the walking alone sucks! I hurt all over before it was even half done. The music wasn't enough to distract me from the time and the pain. I do a lot better when I walk with Kevin, the kids, or friends. But I did persevere. I walked on the path in our woods, I won't be able to do that anymore. My shoes were covered in ticks by the time I was done. So, I'm going to have to either walk at the church, Lincoln Boyhood, or Yellig park. lol!

Tomorrow's goals are to stay within my 37 points and walk for 24 min. They are calling for rain here tomorrow, so I'm going to have to walk the treadmill, ugh! Wish me luck! LOL!!!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

33 hours and counting down...hopefully!

As of this moment, I have been up for 33 hrs. But I'm very happy to say that I am wearing down. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open to finish my post. But I'm dedicated to blogging all of this journey.

It, actually, has been a really good day. I had my picnic and walk with Mary Beth, Gayle, Lisa and our little helpers, Hadley, Xia, Sadie and Katie. I was a great time. We had wonderful fellowship while we ate (I had a 3 inch ham and cheese sub with lettuce and a bag of baked lays from Subway), while we walked our 22 mins, and while we finished tacking a quilt for the church picnic. It was a much needed time for me today. I hope all of you have wonderful friends to lean on! It makes life a lot easier.

This evening at Weight Watchers, I weighed in at 326 pounds. That is a loss of 4 pounds for a grand total of 46 pounds!!!!! I was very happy with this. I'm hoping that the steriods will not mess with my weight loss for next week. Weight Watchers is a fantastic plan, I can't say enough good about it. The key, of course, is following the plan. That is where I get in trouble sometimes. If I track my points and follow the exercise plan I'm going to lose weight. That is the tall and short of it.

Another great thing that happened this week is my son, Seth, lost 3 1/2 pounds. He is 10 yrs old and weighs 155 pounds. He is about 4 ft 10 inchs tall. (I asked his permission before posting his weight) He was soooo proud of himself. He is a very, very, very picky eater and food has been a struggle. All we have done differently this week is, move more and eat less. He is not on a diet, we are cutting back on some of the snacking and trying to eat better food. But you could just see his face glowing when he saw that he had accomplished this, because we are actually just trying to maintain his current weight.
I'm going to sign off for tonight. The goal for tomorrow is to journal my food, stay within my 37 points and walk 24 minutes. Have a blessed night!

Sleepless in Lamar....

I'm setting at my computer at 8:36 am and wishing I was asleep. I have been up for roughly 26 hrs now. I wish I could say it was for some big cause, but it's not. I had a root canal yesterday and they prescribed me steriods for inflamation. I feel like that kid on "Talladaga Nights" all jacked up on Mountain Dew! Well, it would have to be Diet Mountain Dew for me, lol!

To update you on my progress, I did very well Tuesday with my points and with the walking. Kevin, Shay, & I walked at the city park in Boonville and Seth played basketball. It was a very nice walk and I made the whole 22 min without stopping!!! I was very proud of myself. Yesterday, I stayed within my points, but didn't get the walking in. The root canal put a kink in my plans. I was a little sore, but not too bad. Everything was going really well, UNTIL! I hate that word, but anyhow, there isn't much to do at 2:00 in the morning except watch tv and eat. I fought the urge for well over an hour before I gave in. I'm not proud that I let my addiction win out, but I am proud that I didn't go into a complete binge. I ate peanut butter and jelly first, and later had oyster crackers. I'm not keeping chips in the house and it was the only crunchy, salty item I could find. So, I did end-up blowing my points, but I'm not going to let that get me down. I'm back on point this morning. I have a wonderful plan for exercise today and I'm tracking my points again, as of 6:00 this morning.

Let me tell you my plan for today. I'm very blessed to have a very good, core group of friends that are my prayer girls! Lisa, Mary Beth, Gayle, and Judy. We meet every Wednesday night for group. We have bible study, share our thoughts, problems, funny stories, and pray together. Right now we are doing a Beth Moore Bible Study - A Woman's Heart:Gods Resting Place (an amazing study, if you haven't done one of Beth's studies you should) and we have added Nancy, Jeanne, and Benita to this group. Last night one of my prayer requests was for my walking program. I have been struggling with it. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing it, but it isn't fun. So, Gayle and Mary Beth offered to walk with me today and be my support. So, we are meeting at the church's shelter house for a picnic lunch at noon and then walking my 22 min. Lisa may be joining us, also. I'm so excited to be walking with them. I love these ladies so much! I feel like God has given me a team to help me through this difficult time. Kevin, Shay, Seth, Gayle, Mary Beth, and Lisa! WOW!!! Now you can see how blessed I am. Thank you, Jesus! With support like this how can I fail!

Hope you have a great day, I'll post later with my weigh-in for the week and let you know how the walking went. God Bless!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Beginning....

Well, hello! I'm a little nervous about starting this blog. I know it sounds funny, but I want to make sure I do it right. LOL! Something else I guess I struggle with. Let me tell you about me. I'm 37 yrs old, happily married to Kevin for the last 18 yrs, mother of Shay-18, and Seth-10. We live in a very rural area, but stay very busy with church, school, friends, and extended family. I tend to put everyone before myself, as I'm sure most moms do. But the real reason for this blog is that I weigh 330 pounds! I know!!!! I am trying to make changes to my life that have been very hard. I think that blogging about my feelings and my plan might help. I'm currently in Weight Watchers, training for a 5K in June, and seeing a Cognitive Behavioral Theripist. I have lost a total of 42 pounds at the moment, but I have completely run out of steam in the weight loss department. So, I'm hoping this will keep my on task.

My goal for today is to stay in my 37 point range and to walk my 22 mins. I'll let you know how it goes!